Beauty, Lies, and a Faithful God

Today marked a very special moment in my life. After my trip to Haiti back in April, my perspective on things changed. I have been on mission trips before, but this one, well, it was different. Maybe because I have a passion burning with in my heart for Jesus. Maybe because I have come to understand the one and only purpose I was put on this Earth for... To go out and make disciples of all nations. (Matthew 28:19) With out this very verse, I would be lost, roaming the world with out any purpose at all. Haiti, in many ways was life changing, but for me, there was a revelation that happened for me through it. Quite possibly it started before, but it was there that I came to realize after the fact. While I was there, I was putting on my makeup early every morning, and one day it just hit me like a ton of bricks. WHY was I even putting on make-up? Who did I have to impress? It is not like in the high humidity and tempatures that it realistically would even stay on. And why did I feel the need to anyways? Because I was used to it? Or because it made me feel "prettier"? I mean really Nicole? By the time I returned home, I had become used to not wearing as much (yes even in that one week) that I have just continued that same pattern, and now only wearing a little face powder and mascara. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with make-up at all. In fact, I LOVE make-up... and to be honest, I can spend hours in Sephora (guilty as charged.) Beauty and all the beauty products are fun for me, as it is for many of us ladies. But the question remains... WHY do we love it? My only thought on that is that we all have become so affected by the media and the look we think we should have to have to fit in with today's society. I am sure many of you are well aware of how much we can and are affected by the media these days but are also wondering where I am going with all of this. Well, it is pretty simple, the Lord ever since I made that promise to follow Him wholeheartedly, with all I am and all I have to give, has continued to strip me of every part of my old life. My old life was very dark place and time for me. I had no idea at the time how much so until I hit a spot in my life where I was crying out to him for help. (Another story for another day.) The old me, even though it was some time ago, still has some residual small parts that I think the Lord wants to make sure is there no longer. I was always so proud of my career, my independence as a woman, making it on my own, and of course as far as looks, always taking care of myself and being up to par with the standards of beauty in todays world. After all, in the end that was ALL I had since I did not have Jesus. Last year, I made the decision to stop tanning after reading articles on women younger than me getting skin cancer and dying before they were even thirty. Can you say SCARY? I am pretty sure that it was the Lord who placed those articles in my hands (on more than one occasion) and was him telling me to stop. To be honest, this was a very hard thing for me to do considering almost ALL my friends go tanning and to be the only one that is as pale as a ghost is well, humbling to say the least. A sense of security was taken away, and replaced by security in the Him. Then, the make-up thing happened in Haiti. Not quite as big of a deal, but still seems to fit in with the theme of what the Lord was teaching me. After Haiti, my heart for missions only grew and continues to grow. I have no idea if the Lord will truly lead me into long term or just many shorter term missions in the future, but I do know that my heart is only growing in a HUGE way to do so. That would mean giving up A LOT of things in my life, including the things that many of us women never think twice about like dying our hair. If I am in a foreign country, the last thing I will be able to worry about is finding a good hair dresser there, or make up for that matter. I truly believe that as the Lord is having me do these things for a reason larger than I understand yet. If not missions, it will be because he wants me to truly learn my identity is not in this world, but IN HIM and HIM ALONE.

So here I am, writing you and my hair is officially dark. A few weeks ago I made my appointment, and up until that point I was nothing but excited for a change as big as this for me. But after that appointment was set, I started having doubts. I started thinking thoughts like, "what if people do not like it?" "What if I am considered plain?" "What if I think it is ugly?" just to name a few. As these thoughts entered my head along with many others, all I could do was remember that I KNOW this was what the Lord was asking of me, and that even if those are true statements in the end, in Jesus's eyes I am nothing but beautiful to Him. He is the only one that should and does matter. It truly amazes me how Satan can seep into our heads and one minute I was excited about it, and the next I am freaking out in my head. Before I drove off to my appointment this afternoon, I was spending some time with my Jesus. I was finishing up my bible study lessons for the week. My girls and I are doing a study right now called "No Other Gods." It is a study on confronting our modern day idols, and honestly it has been the most convicting and amazing study thus far. The Lord has spoken to me through it so many times and each time I end up in tears. Tears, because I am so completely thankful that He speaks to me in times like this, knowing I need to hear certain things and He loves and cares for me enough to do so. During this study (by Kelly Minter) as I am trying to prepare myself for whatever happens after my hair color changes, I read this...

Day 05 BEHIND EVERY FALSE GOD LURKS A PROWLING LION

And then it tells me to look up the following verses... Which are all descriptions of Satan.

John 8:43-44 (A murderer, and the father of lies)
2 Corinthians 11:14 (Masquerades as an angel of light)
1 Peter 5:8 (Enemy, a roaring lion on the prowl to devour someone)
Revelation 20:2 (Ancient serpent, and the devil)

Puts things into perspective a bit as far as all my concerns (Satan's lies) were right?

And then Kelly Minter writes this...

"Sometimes I find myself playing out a situation that's happened in real life and then start adding to it in my mind. Like what the person involved in the situation might have been thinking when they responded a certain way, or what their motives were behind the actions. Really, when it gets right down to it, I realize that most of the time they weren't thinking those things at all. I allow my emotions and actions to be dictated as a result of believing that what I dream up in my head has actually happened."

I am assuming that this is not just me that this happens too. But wow this hit home for me. In the end, it helped me identify those thoughts and that they were from Satan only trying to detour me away from what God had called me to do. I love how our God works. He KNEW I needed to have that little reminder before my appointment, and planned it accordingly. He is so good, so faithful and so absolutely perfect.

So here I am, sitting here at home, writing you with my newly dyed dark hair. And after all the crazy lies that Satan put in my head the past few weeks, I came to realize I had nothing to fear. As shocking as it is to look in the mirror, I do like my hair. I have felt overwhelmed with the amazing response of how much people seem to like it. All I can say is that God is good, and every time I listen and obey, I only end up that much more blessed in the end. Praise Him... :) Here is the only picture I have of my new hair...

In Him,

Nicole Elizabeth