Friday, October 21, 2011

Teach Me To Pray

So... I have a confession, and it is not something I am neccessarily proud of. I have always had a HUGE fear of praying out loud. LIKE MAJOR HUGE! I DO NOT like public speaking, much less praying out loud. I have done anything and everything to avoid it. I kid you not, I would rather sit in solitude for a year than pray out loud for others to hear. My voice and entire body would start shaking just at the thought of it. I used to attend a bible-study in which the ladies each pray at the end of it. Even though I loved them dearly and what we were studying, I quickly stopped attending because of the ending in prayer part. Oh boy, did the Lord a good work to do in me. I got to a point where in my head I would REFUSE to with a somewhat of a defiant attitude. Oh boy... you know what that means don't you? Whenever I refuse to do something, that usually means the Lord is going to do a complete overhaul in my life on that very thing. God is always so faithful in that way. ;)

Praying out loud had become a topic among a couple of my best friends and I. They too had the very same fear, and upon my return from Haiti in April, it came up again as I told them how I was the only one on the team to NOT pray out loud. My dear best friend Amber smiled and said "You said that as if you were almost proud of it." I would not say I was proud of it, but at that moment I realized that this HAD TO CHANGE. But how? How could I overcome such a fear that plagued me? Oh goodness Nicole really??? Does the bible not say "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) Most often than not, the only way to overcome your fears are to face them head on, and that is exactly what I had to do. As I became aware of this, I felt the Lord give me boldness. He was so faithful to keep putting me in situations to face it head on and also gave me confidence during each time. The ladies and I at bible-study all came to realize we all had to face it. How perfect to all fear something and help encourage each other to overcome it? My church changed the process and way in which we take communion. Instead of taking it separately, we broke into groups praying together beforehand. Most often of the time, I was in a row of people I had invited to church and were not even saved. It had to be me to pray and set the example! I wish I could tell you the exact moment I realized I was comfortable praying out loud, but it was more of a process. I know there are many out there that have this fear, and if you are one of them I challenge you to face it! My prayer life and intimacy with the Lord has dramatically changed from this. My heart and attitude have as well. I now CRAVE praying with other brother and sisters in Christ. There is so much POWER in praying together. Matthew 18:19-20 says “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” THAT IS ONE POWERFUL VERSE if I do say so myself. LOVE IT!

One last tid bit--
I now know that the Lord was only preparing me as I left for Haiti a 2nd time. There was NO WAY I would have ever gotten away with not praying out loud. Our leader Scott randomly would have people pray over dinner and put people "on the spot." We all became so extremely close and prayer was SO IMPORTANT. Each night us ladies switched partners and did what we call a "prayer walk" well minus the walking. ;) We also each gave our testimonies to the entire group and afterwards the team together prayed over them. It was quite evident that with out Him challenging me in this area before hand I would have spent large amounts of time fretting, being full of anxiety not to mention having the major shakes during this trip. God is so good!

Lastly, whenever I start to get nervous about praying or speaking about the Lord to others I remember this... SUCH TRUTH!!!

Ministry is when the people who hear you don't want more of you; they want more of Him because of what you've said. Often our thoughts run to "what do they think of me?" when what we should be concerned with is "what do they think of Him."




In Him,

Nicole Elizabeth